A mini breakdown and recovery

Today I had an important test I knew I could ace, and yet I mismanaged my time and wasn’t able to finish. I was so frustrated and angry with myself, and I had a mini breakdown.

I cracked. I cancelled everything planned later in the day and buried myself in bed. I wanted to cry, I wanted to hide, I wanted the relief of sleep. I slept for hours. Constructive, I know.

But then I woke up. And I felt a bit more compassionate towards myself. Yes, I didn’t do as well as I could have, but I had been exhausted from lack of sleep. Also, it is still good practice for other tests and maybe I will do better than I thought. Nothing I can do about it now. Just learn for next time.

And I had a surge of energy and started to tackle a lot of things I’d left half done. I got rid of clothes that didn’t fit, purged clutter in my room and completely organized my closet. It felt so nice as these were things I’d been wanting to do for quite a while and the clutter always weighed on me.

So at the end of the day, I’m feeling more neutral — not upset over the test as that is finished and there is nothing to do but wait for the results, and satisfied with my decluttering progress. I was triggered for the potential of crashing, but managed a bit of compassion to reenergize and inspire myself in other ways.

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An okay start

Today I started my 8×8 challenge and I worried I was sunk before I started. I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach and wasn’t able to sleep for a long time.

But luckily, I still accomplished quite a lot for the day. Not all 8 tasks – I was feeling terrible late morning so I skipped the outdoors and had a nap. But I did the 6 other tasks and more besides. So I feel good about that.

I kept the exercise to a very gentle yoga class, but hopefully I’ll be feeling better tomorrow and can do more.

Here are my stickers. 😉

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Low energy

Today was a low energy day. I’m not sure why. I just didn’t feel like doing anything and felt so tired. The sun was out again, but the only time I inspired myself to go outside was for Hagen Daaz ice cream. :-S Not a good thing.

I didn’t get anything done and cancelled my tentative plans for the evening.

This means that tomorrow I will have a lot of studying to do for my test on Wednesday. I think I will have to wake up early and spend a lot of time at a coffee shop with caffeine and lack of opportunity to sleep. Because the test is in the morning and I’ve been sleeping in so much!

From energetic to tired and headachy

Today I woke up bright and chipper. I know, it’s Monday! What’s up with that?

Apparently my weekend of yoga was good for me. I didn’t have my emotional dip. I stayed busy, active and social. I worked towards a goal. It was really tiring, but since I went to bed early, I was actually refreshed come morning.

During the day, however, my mood slowly dipped and tiredness took over. Or maybe it was boredom? After my busy day Friday making plans and strategies, today was the day to talk things out, get feedback, get answers, and to get the go ahead to move full steam ahead. But the people I needed to meet with weren’t there! So it was a long, slow day as I looked for work rather than getting to my main tasks.

And then I had tummy troubles which really weren’t fun, nor a contributor to good spirits.

By the end of the day, I was wiped. I went home, had dinner, and struggled not to fall asleep before 7 pm. In the end, that’s why I went to yoga today. I didn’t do an invigorating class – my muscles really need a break today – but I knew I would fall asleep too early and then have insomnia if I stayed home. So I went to a relaxation yoga class where I could lie about in lots of restorative poses while staying awake.

It seems to have worked. I’m really overtired now and have a headache, but at least it’s now a decent sleeping time that will perhaps let me sleep through the night.

I hope tomorrow isn’t so boring!

Making a point of going

Over the past couple of days I decided to rest rather than taking part in my daily yoga challenge. I struggled wondering if I was being compassionate or making excuses, and settled on the former.

Last night I went to bed early and slept really well. My cat woke me too early, ruining the final bit of sleep, but I woke up full of energy and speedily got ready for work.

At the end of the day, I again had my choice: do I or don’t I go to yoga?
For:
-I want to keep up my practice and go as often as I can.
-I felt good at the end of the day, not exhausted like the past few days.
-I had to go out again anyways as the poor kitty needed more wet food.
Against:
-I was late getting home from work.
-I was really rushing and not sure I could make it on time.
-I realized while going down to my car that I forgot my yoga mat! But there was no way I’d make it if I went back for it.

I decided to go. And I’m so glad I did, because if I’d missed today, it really would have been due to excuses or laziness. I was feeling fine and refreshed. No reason not to go.

And, even better, we had a super lengthy gong meditation, so I got to rest anyway! 🙂

Working Girl

I returned to the workforce today. It went really well!

It was a full 9 to 5 day, so my challenge will be getting into the swing of a morning routine.

Today I was alert all day, until the last hour when I was getting tired. But that’s mostly because I didn’t sleep so well last night. My cat decided to wake me at 5 am and every hour thereafter. :-p

I’m looking forward to having a regular schedule again. I’ve been missing routine.

I also went to yoga today, so I’m well on my way to establishing a daily yoga practice. That makes one full week so far! I’ve been doing easy meditation courses mostly this week because my muscles were so sore, but I think I’m ready now to do some more intensive classes again.

Good night!

Wow.

As difficult and overwhelming as this past yoga training weekend was, it seems to have been really good for me!

I slept well.
I woke up at 8:30 am, bright-eyed and cheerful.
I have found myself singing and almost dancing instead of walking.
The sun is shining.
I’m only pleasantly sore, the feeling you have after a great workout.
I’m ready to rush out to meet the day and to even do another yoga class!

I feel really good. Love it. 🙂