All my underlying stresses seem to have exploded at once. It has really whacked me on the head and I’m barely functional.
I told you I missed work on Monday afternoon. Well, I also missed yesterday and almost missed today to.
It’s amazing how quickly I can fall down the spiral. And it is entirely stress. I’m not sick otherwise.
But the physical symptoms are bad headaches, inability to concentrate, and exhaustion. And depression kicks in because I feel so upset, I’m shamed I can’t just say that I was sick with the flu or something. I feel like I am completely withdrawn today, present in body because it’s only harder to go back the longer that I am off. My only goal is to make it to the end of the day. Then I will go shopping for fruit and veggies and maybe a small present for me.
Why am I stressed?
I am waiting to find out if I’ve won a permanent job.
I am waiting to have my current contract renewed.
I had two tests last week.
I am living pay cheque to pay cheque and just had a new $1000+ debt slapped on to my load.
I am so tired of applying for jobs. I just want some security.
I feel fat and like I need to exercise, but I can’t get myself to go.
The team I organize isn’t coming together well this year.
I have lots of homework for my teacher training.
And the list goes on and on.
Please forgive my rant. I just wanted to try to get these weights off my shoulders so that I can hopefully set them aside for the afternoon. After all, there is nothing I can do about them at the moment!