I went into work today ready to quit unless other work arrangements can be sorted out. Instead of discussing things first thing, however, I got caught up in impromptu training so I waited for an opening.
When I did discuss things with my boss, it was clear that he would talk to my colleague about his treatment of me, but that was it – no other arrangements. I decided to hold out a little longer, but said I would be out of there the next time.
I was very stressed and tense all afternoon since no solutions were in the offing, but I am staying for now as at least I don’t have to work with the tyrant for a few more days. I’m trying to look at it this way:
-If I stay one more day, then I make $– more dollars.
-Apply for as many jobs as possible while I can.
-Give one more chance before quitting.
-Mental health is number one priority. Quit if you have to.
As I walked home today, I could feel all the tension in my body. It’s like I need to have a good cry to just release it, but I’m not able to. Instead I started chanting a mantra to myself as I walked: It’s – not – worth – it.
Life is too short to be miserable (especially after five years of depression!). If things don’t improve next week, I owe it to myself to get out of a toxic work environment.
After my little crash this weekend, I’ve realized that I’m under a lot of stress. So I’m trying to do what I can to manage it.
1) Work – for once, not a problem!
2) Daily yoga – I’ve decided that this was just too much now that I’m working and doing the teacher training.
3) Fitness – I need a stress outlet and more cardio. So instead of doing daily yoga (I’ll still go every few days) I’ve decided to go back to the gym. Because, you know, I’ve been paying for it! My plan is to start running again in twenty minute stints and to swim or cycle. My goal is twenty minutes of good cardio per day (much more reasonable than 90 minutes of yoga per day!). To make this happen, I’m going to drive to work and then stop at the gym before going home. Already my gym bag is packed and ready by the door.
4) Finances – This is probably my biggest stressor right now. I just found out that I have a hefty tax bill, in addition to my other debts to manage. I haven’t fully managed this yet, but I think I now have a plan to keep everything finely balanced this month. Hopefully next month it won’t be such a pinch! But having the big picture is helping somewhat.
5) Homework: I have a lot! But I plan to tackle it in chunks of twenty minutes per day.
6) Physical health – I’m struggling with a cold or allergies again and I also have a massive headache from my clenched jaws. I. Addition to the continued tummy troubles. I’m trying to take it easy to manage these. I’m also looking up self-massage techniques for the jaw.
7) Cleaning and organizing – This is something I ignored during my yoga binge. I want to stay on top of this by doing at least one task per day. It would probably only take five minutes!
I think that by removing the 90-minute-per-day yoga obligation and substituting other smaller tasks to stay on top of things I should hopefully be able to better manage my stress.