I’ve blown my daily yoga routine. But I’ve done it consciously so.
I’ve missed three days now (non-consecutive), but only regret missing Saturday’s session.
Is it that I’m being lazy? Or is it that I’m listening to my body and its fatigue? Am I being compassionate towards myself? Or just making excuses for failures?
I actually think that I’m being compassionate.
This is my first forty-hour work week in months. And then I have 20+ hours of yoga training on the weekend. No days off until mid-March. (And I think that’s a good thing, because I do tend to have emotional dips on weekends when I do nothing…)
But with work, training, homework and trying to go to yoga every single day (and more than once a day to make up for missed days)… Well, after the sleeplessness of last night, I knew I couldn’t keep burning the candle at all ends.
I think this is an example of self-compassion because:
– I don’t feel guilty
– I’m not displaying my all-or-nothing attitude – I’ve missed three days so why even bother continuing with the daily yoga? It’s already a bust! – Instead I’m simply planning to go as often as I can, while being conscious of what my body is telling me.
– I’m really enjoying my work and the sense of accomplishment of doing my job well. I like going to work, even if I haven’t slept, and I’m really productive. But that’s not maintainable without rest. I need to take care of myself.
At times during the past few weeks, I’ve felt like a bubble of contentment is surrounding me. I’m enjoying getting out of the house each day and my hilly walks to and from the bus. The weather isn’t too cold and the fresh air is invigorating. Yesterday I became absorbed looking down at my scarf as I walked to work. The most beautiful little snowflake had settled on my scarf and it had the most intricate design! I guess that’s as close as I can get to stopping to smell the roses at this time of year. 😉
People seem more inclined to be friendly and do nice things for me. And I think it’s because my overall feeling of calm, patience and contentment is flowing out. I was pulled over for my first ever driving ticket the other day… And the officer was smiling and understanding and instead gave me warnings.
So while there can be a fine line between excuses and compassion, I think I’m currently exhibiting the latter. I’m adapting remarkably well to the workplace and I’m generally content. But I’m well aware of the dangers of doing too much, ignoring insomnia, and feeling overwhelmed.
I made the conscious decision today to take yoga off my plate and to simply relax. As such I could resist napping and I think I’m now ready to go to sleep at an appropriate time. And I’m looking forward to both work and yoga tomorrow. 🙂