If I had to sum up the past week, I would say withdrawn. I’ve been very anti-social and apart from some short burst of energy I have been staying home and alternating between watching TV and sleeping. I’ve been sleeping a lot.
Which makes me wonder what is going on and if this is just situational or a concern. Or if it’s just the transition period as I lower my medications.
By and large, I think it is related to my current situation. I’m not working and finances are beyond stretched. So I avoid going out, avoid invitations because they mean spending money I don’t have… I even ignored an invitation to visit a cottage this weekend because I didn’t think I had enough gas to make it there and back. Not that I explained this!
I cannot tell you how unbelievably stressful it is to be penniless. It casts a pall of worry over everything and constant stress.
I know that I have done everything I currently can do about this.
There is just one more week to go, and then I have my permanent job.
Not going outside and not using yoga classes and fitness passes that were already paid for simply hurts me with no benefit.
So. This week, I need to turn things around. Get ready to go back to the work force and revive my energy.
The plan: 8 x 8 energizing days
I need to get myself back in order so that I’m ready to return to work. So, I’ve taken a page from my old 10 x 10 challenge, and set myself some clear goals.
For the next eight days, I will do these eight things.
Get up and shower by 9 am
Go outside in the morning for at least 10 minutes
Do some form of exercise
Spend 10 minutes planning finances and/or brown bag lunches for work
Go outside in the afternoon for at least 10 minutes
What an exhausting week! I’ve been so tired and off. But it’s almost Friday, yay!
I was in a really bad mood earlier and ready to crawl back into bed. But I finally managed to resist. I realized the impetus to hide today was habit rather than inability to cope. I went for a nice half hour walk to work and things got better with fresh air.
I’ve been heading to bed for a nap every day after work. This hasn’t been working so well, so today I decided to go to a yoga meditation class instead. Somehow the extended period of lying at rest while awake is more refreshing than a nap. I definitely felt a lot better after class.
I’m really looking forward to the weekend. I have tons of homework to do, but no training, so I’m hoping for a more balanced weekend.
I feel fantastic today! I think I was the most energetic person at my course. Even now after a full day of training, making a presentation, and not sleeping well last night (stressing over presentation), I am wide awake and sang away to almost a whole CD as I cleaned the disastrous kitchen and cooked dinner.
I am so relieved! I think there are a few takeaways from today.
1) Aerius is a much better antihistamine for me than the knock-off of Reactin that made me horribly dehydrated. I can breathe almost completely normally again!
2) Today our 90 minute yoga class was in the kundalini style, something I’ve really come to love. It has a warm up, some exercises that can be quite energetic (like today), then a lengthy relaxation with a gong, followed by meditation and a song to close. There is something about this style that really speaks to me and obviously suits me a lot better than our general more athletic practice. I think it’s because that’s why I went into yoga: not for exercise (I was a half-marathon runner when I first started) but to centre and restore myself. I’ve been so unhappy with yoga lately because it just hasn’t been restoring me – all the obligations were dragging me down. Now I know that the type of practice really does matter and I should be doing the types of yoga that speak to me.
3) I made my presentation so that’s off my plate. No more projects due until the end of the month, so this week I plan to take a holiday from yoga teacher training! I’d like to go to yoga, but for me, not from obligation.
4) I’m no longer in suspense about the job. Two of us succeeded in the competition but the job went to the other guy who has been acting in that job for over a year. So I can cross that off my list and just move on. Back to applying for jobs but also trying to network which really does seem to be the only way to go. It was all the maybes that were stressing me out.
Well that’s it for now. My dinner is getting cold and I have some zombies to watch! I just wanted to let you know that things are a lot brighter today. 🙂
Over the past couple of days I decided to rest rather than taking part in my daily yoga challenge. I struggled wondering if I was being compassionate or making excuses, and settled on the former.
Last night I went to bed early and slept really well. My cat woke me too early, ruining the final bit of sleep, but I woke up full of energy and speedily got ready for work.
At the end of the day, I again had my choice: do I or don’t I go to yoga?
-I want to keep up my practice and go as often as I can.
-I felt good at the end of the day, not exhausted like the past few days.
-I had to go out again anyways as the poor kitty needed more wet food.
-I was late getting home from work.
-I was really rushing and not sure I could make it on time.
-I realized while going down to my car that I forgot my yoga mat! But there was no way I’d make it if I went back for it.
I decided to go. And I’m so glad I did, because if I’d missed today, it really would have been due to excuses or laziness. I was feeling fine and refreshed. No reason not to go.
And, even better, we had a super lengthy gong meditation, so I got to rest anyway! 🙂
I was pretty disgusted with myself yesterday and all the daytime sleep I’ve been having. So I decided to turn things around. And so far, it’s going great!
I took some melatonin to sleep through the night and made it to 5 am. By then I was wide awake after all my sleep so I did something I never do: I went to early morning yoga!
By 8:30 am, I’ve already done 5 of my 12 tasks for the day. Hurray! Get out of bed: check. Out by 6 am. Go outside: check. This is fantastic because it is -24C (-29C with windchill — that’s -20 Fahrenheit for my American friends). Eek! Note: I am ever so grateful for my car because otherwise it’s very doubtful I would have gone. Brrrr! Exercise: check. 75 minute yoga class. Meditation: check. A lot of meditation and chanting at the end of my class. Finances: check. I’ve already been to the bank!
So I’m off to a fantastic start. What makes me really happy is that these are the things that have challenged me most for the past two weeks, and two days in particular.
I also stopped for a latte so now I’m all set to start working on finding a new job.
I’m almost there! Sorry for combining two days in one post, but I was simply too exhausted to write yesterday!
In summary, Friday (Day 8) was very focussed on finances (I’m getting some assistance, yeah!) and yoga (I started my intensive training), with a late night job application thrown in. It was a very late night, but I completed all ten tasks and also even prepared for my early Saturday by making my lunch and getting my clothes together, etc. I’m never so organized!
But I’m so glad I was. Today was… intense. In a good way. After last night’s intro, today was a 9-hour day of yoga training! I’m so exhausted because I was too keyed up to get much sleep last night. So my organization was a great help because I could get up a little later and then quickly shower and head out the door.
Luckily, the yoga training includes so much that it qualifies for exercise, self-help and meditation. It was a very good day. But at this point I’m so glad to not be sitting cross-legged any more! My right hip isn’t very happy. And my brain is a little numb. So now I’m vegging and about to do something nice for me: watch some Netflix.
Today I am 8/10 for my tasks.* I did everything except finances and job applications. But considering the amount I worked on those yesterday, and the amount of time I spent in “school” today, I think that is quite okay! 🙂
One more day to go! And then I’ll need to create a new challenge. 🙂
*Author’s note: Wait a minute! Yoga teacher training is a career related task- at the end I’ll have a new trade that I can practice on the side. So that makes Saturday (day 9) a 9 out of 10! 🙂