Low energy

Today was a low energy day. I’m not sure why. I just didn’t feel like doing anything and felt so tired. The sun was out again, but the only time I inspired myself to go outside was for Hagen Daaz ice cream. :-S Not a good thing.

I didn’t get anything done and cancelled my tentative plans for the evening.

This means that tomorrow I will have a lot of studying to do for my test on Wednesday. I think I will have to wake up early and spend a lot of time at a coffee shop with caffeine and lack of opportunity to sleep. Because the test is in the morning and I’ve been sleeping in so much!

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Bad Decisions

I’m awake at two am as a result of some bad decisions today.

Culprit # 1: Haagen Dazs
I was really craving chocolate today. Perhaps because it’s Easter weekend, perhaps because I’m a chocolate addict.

As the day progressed, my mind began to focus on one thing: chocolate peanut butter Haagen Dazs. I binged a lot on this in the fall. I weakened throughout the day as I failed to meet so many objectives. And then I just did it. I went out and bought Haagen Dazs (and chips and dip too at the last moment). And then I ate it. All. (The ice cream, I mean, though quite a bit of the chips and dip too.)

I now feel a ball of physical discontent inside, keeping me awake and feeling yucky.

Culprit #2: Oversleeping
I’ve been sleeping a lot today. Slept in late. Had a nap. And went to bed early.

Why? I wasn’t tired. The sleeping in resolved that. I was bored. I was procrastinating. I was avoiding.

Culprit #3: Failure
I set myself a challenge for the Easter weekend. I have a lot of work that needs to be done so I broke things down to do a little every day. I didn’t do most things.

I must remind myself, however, that it wasn’t a total failure. While I didn’t do most things, I did do several things I don’t think I would have otherwise. I cleaned. Emptied the dishwasher, refilled it and set it to wash. Vacuumed my room. But the vacuum wasn’t working well – time to empty it. I don’t have a nose and mouth mask at the moment, so I gave up on the vacuuming for the moment. My allergies just wouldn’t be able take that much dust when they are already so aggravated. But I persevered and swept the rest of my place instead. Hopefully a few less dust bunnies will help, allergy-wise. And I applied for a job. I tried to do yoga homework in the form of choosing music for my class. It was terribly unproductive as I couldn’t find anything I liked, but I did try, so that is something.

Culprit # 4: No exercise
I almost went to yoga. But then saw that the studio was closed for Good Friday. Then I thought about going outside for a short jog as a small step towards my return to long-distance running. But I didn’t. Finally, I thought about the gym. And kept putting it off until they were twenty minutes from closing. No time now!

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Friday wasn’t the day I’d hoped it would be. But it was still better than last weekend (aside from the Haagen Dazs). So I’m paying a bit of a price now, but hopefully I won’t use that as an excuse to go off plan tomorrow as well.

Making a point of going

Over the past couple of days I decided to rest rather than taking part in my daily yoga challenge. I struggled wondering if I was being compassionate or making excuses, and settled on the former.

Last night I went to bed early and slept really well. My cat woke me too early, ruining the final bit of sleep, but I woke up full of energy and speedily got ready for work.

At the end of the day, I again had my choice: do I or don’t I go to yoga?
For:
-I want to keep up my practice and go as often as I can.
-I felt good at the end of the day, not exhausted like the past few days.
-I had to go out again anyways as the poor kitty needed more wet food.
Against:
-I was late getting home from work.
-I was really rushing and not sure I could make it on time.
-I realized while going down to my car that I forgot my yoga mat! But there was no way I’d make it if I went back for it.

I decided to go. And I’m so glad I did, because if I’d missed today, it really would have been due to excuses or laziness. I was feeling fine and refreshed. No reason not to go.

And, even better, we had a super lengthy gong meditation, so I got to rest anyway! 🙂

Slothdom Prevails

I’m being a sloth today. Still in bed and it’s the afternoon. I’ve considered getting up but I don’t want to. I’m not sure why. I’m not feeling depressed. Just tired. And I have a sore side/lower back. Reason to have skipped some types of yoga classes, but not the next one which would be very restorative and helpful.
I think perhaps it’s due to yesterday. It wasn’t a bad day. But I didn’t sleep well and then I had a repair person stopping by early. He was late but then there for the whole day. He was very nice, but because he was there I didn’t have a chance to sleep more or to leave the house. I just had to sit around the whole day and try to stay occupied while someone was in my space. I think that’s how I hurt my lower back.
I was very productive during the day, alternating between yoga homework, studying French, and occasionally watching a great show on Netflix. I ate well. I just wanted my space back.
Regardless, I’m a sloth today. I’ll need to think more about why and apply my “truth” lens for yoga. Is it exhaustion from yesterday? Is it because I have nothing I have to do? Is it because I actually have the weekend off from training and just need to relax? I don’t know. But I guess it’s okay for today. Tomorrow, however, I need to get out of bed and out of the house.

So Lazy!

I’ve spent the past two days sleeping. The first day was very warranted. Today, not so much.

This weekend I did my first three days of intensive yoga teacher training and I was so exhausted and muscle-sore that I slept for nearly 24 hours! But I think that’s understandable. It was physically demanding, emotionally demanding, and also involved being “on” for 9 hours a day when I’m not used to that any more. Anyway, I knew this weekend would be tough but I expect that I’ll gradually pick up my fitness and get with it.

Today, I also stayed in bed. But I think it was just laziness. I wasn’t so exhausted today and could have gotten up. But I didn’t have anything I needed or wanted to do. *Danger!* That definitely raises a flag. Obviously I really need to keep up my challenges or I simply just let it all go as soon as I have no specific goals.

But there are some good signs. It’s becoming second nature for me to empty or load the dishwasher while I’m waiting for toast, the microwave or a meal to cook. And I finally got out of bed for dinner and completed and submitted the two job applications that were due by today at the latest.

And I started to do my yoga homework. I’m to notice every time that I criticize myself and try to take a more balanced view.

Anyway, I’ll have to think of a new challenge tomorrow. Also, I really need to organize! My apartment is full of boxes of things I want to sort and haven’t. The clutter is really starting to get to me!

Oh, and finally my muscle soreness is mostly gone. Which means back to yoga or the gym tomorrow!