Self-Reflection

Another one of my yoga homework tasks is self-reflection. Ironically, I have so much yoga homework that I’ve done a lot less self-reflection than normal. (Another reason is also that I still have a house guest.)

But tonight I will blog and self-reflect. 🙂

Today was a chaotic day at work. My supervisor was really, really stressed. So much so that I felt I needed to keep reassuring her that things would be okay.

I have general anxiety disorder, but the thing is that I think I generally perform well in a “real” crisis. It’s like there is no time to worry, I just have to do things to get stuff done. Here is where perhaps my procrastination gave me good training. By leaving everything to the last minute (a habit I had long before it was worry-driven), I’m used to performing under fire. So I’m generally ok in crisis mode. Though I do usually crash afterwards.

But I can’t this time! Because not only is this project nearing the end, so is my yoga teacher training and I need to be fresh to start a new job too.

So I think that for my self-reflection homework over the next few days, I’ll periodically assess how I am doing. Am I running myself to the limit? Am I taking a daily walk at lunch for fresh air and space to keep myself centered? Can I keep my focus on things I can control? Can I keep my composure and generate a calming presence?

I’d like reflect on how I handle this stressful week. And I want to do periodic checkins with myself where I assess if I am becoming stressed and if I can take an action to help with that. Take deep breaths, go for a walk, whatever. I need to work hard but I also need to be compassionate to myself so that I’m not burnt out in time for my next challenge.

That’s the plan, anyway! We’ll see how it goes! 🙂

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So Lazy!

I’ve spent the past two days sleeping. The first day was very warranted. Today, not so much.

This weekend I did my first three days of intensive yoga teacher training and I was so exhausted and muscle-sore that I slept for nearly 24 hours! But I think that’s understandable. It was physically demanding, emotionally demanding, and also involved being “on” for 9 hours a day when I’m not used to that any more. Anyway, I knew this weekend would be tough but I expect that I’ll gradually pick up my fitness and get with it.

Today, I also stayed in bed. But I think it was just laziness. I wasn’t so exhausted today and could have gotten up. But I didn’t have anything I needed or wanted to do. *Danger!* That definitely raises a flag. Obviously I really need to keep up my challenges or I simply just let it all go as soon as I have no specific goals.

But there are some good signs. It’s becoming second nature for me to empty or load the dishwasher while I’m waiting for toast, the microwave or a meal to cook. And I finally got out of bed for dinner and completed and submitted the two job applications that were due by today at the latest.

And I started to do my yoga homework. I’m to notice every time that I criticize myself and try to take a more balanced view.

Anyway, I’ll have to think of a new challenge tomorrow. Also, I really need to organize! My apartment is full of boxes of things I want to sort and haven’t. The clutter is really starting to get to me!

Oh, and finally my muscle soreness is mostly gone. Which means back to yoga or the gym tomorrow!