Compassion or excuses? Laziness or listening to my body?

I’ve blown my daily yoga routine. But I’ve done it consciously so.

I’ve missed three days now (non-consecutive), but only regret missing Saturday’s session.

Is it that I’m being lazy? Or is it that I’m listening to my body and its fatigue? Am I being compassionate towards myself? Or just making excuses for failures?

I actually think that I’m being compassionate.

This is my first forty-hour work week in months. And then I have 20+ hours of yoga training on the weekend. No days off until mid-March. (And I think that’s a good thing, because I do tend to have emotional dips on weekends when I do nothing…)

But with work, training, homework and trying to go to yoga every single day (and more than once a day to make up for missed days)… Well, after the sleeplessness of last night, I knew I couldn’t keep burning the candle at all ends.

I think this is an example of self-compassion because:
– I don’t feel guilty
– I’m not displaying my all-or-nothing attitude – I’ve missed three days so why even bother continuing with the daily yoga? It’s already a bust! – Instead I’m simply planning to go as often as I can, while being conscious of what my body is telling me.
– I’m really enjoying my work and the sense of accomplishment of doing my job well. I like going to work, even if I haven’t slept, and I’m really productive. But that’s not maintainable without rest. I need to take care of myself.

At times during the past few weeks, I’ve felt like a bubble of contentment is surrounding me. I’m enjoying getting out of the house each day and my hilly walks to and from the bus. The weather isn’t too cold and the fresh air is invigorating. Yesterday I became absorbed looking down at my scarf as I walked to work. The most beautiful little snowflake had settled on my scarf and it had the most intricate design! I guess that’s as close as I can get to stopping to smell the roses at this time of year. 😉

People seem more inclined to be friendly and do nice things for me. And I think it’s because my overall feeling of calm, patience and contentment is flowing out. I was pulled over for my first ever driving ticket the other day… And the officer was smiling and understanding and instead gave me warnings.

So while there can be a fine line between excuses and compassion, I think I’m currently exhibiting the latter. I’m adapting remarkably well to the workplace and I’m generally content. But I’m well aware of the dangers of doing too much, ignoring insomnia, and feeling overwhelmed.

I made the conscious decision today to take yoga off my plate and to simply relax. As such I could resist napping and I think I’m now ready to go to sleep at an appropriate time. And I’m looking forward to both work and yoga tomorrow. 🙂

Good night!

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11 thoughts on “Compassion or excuses? Laziness or listening to my body?

  1. I. also, find distinguishing between these two poles difficult sometime!

  2. this post made me smile. So inspiring to read that peace that you are finding. that compassion that you are giving yourself. working hard but also rewarding yourself at the same time. I can learn a lot from you. take care, my dear.

  3. I’m glad it made you smile. 🙂 I’ve been lacking in compassion for so long but now that I’m learning it it’s really making a difference! Take care! xx

  4. Another happy-making post! 🙂
    I’m glad you didn’t get a ticket. The police here are very keen on giving out speeding fines (or any other sort of fine, for that matter). There’s a cop car which often lurks near our place and, seriously, that bloke (and it is a bloke, we’ve seen him) must be getting bonus points for exceeding his quota. There’s a long hill which cars often accidentally gather speed descending, and then he picks them up as they begin the ascent, just around the corner from us.
    What bothers me is not that the cops give out fines for speeding – too many deaths on our roads still, even in 2014 – but that they spend their time booking people for doing a few km’s over the speed limit in what is basically a safe spot. I’d rather they were patrolling the country roads, where they would bag fewer wrong-doers, but probably prevent more deaths. Still, I have these weird ideas about the government existing to serve the populace, and not vice versa 🙂

    • I apparently turned right on a red light. We are allowed to do that, but if it is red you have to first stop to let all other traffic by. I thought I went when it was orange and that I was past the point of no return and hence didn’t stop. It’s a tricky corner as it’s not perpendicular. I was rushing to yoga of course! Lol
      That said, I’m very big on safety too. I think there is also need for cracking down on city drivers. Not the ones speeding up when going downhill, but the ones that are menaces to pedestrians and cyclists. I actually never walk across the street until I make eye contact with drivers. I’ve almost been hit too many times! They see an opening between cars and zoom out without also looking for pedestrians and cyclists.

      • Yes, I agree – there are a lot of stupid drivers in the city! I’m glad you could see that my problem was with the place he chooses to nab people, not the nabbing itself.
        Mind you, there are times when it’s really not OK to speed up going down a hill – for instance, where there’s a playground at the bottom! But this cop really is rather cheeky, because there is very little risk of collision with pedestrians or emerging motorists where he nabs them.
        (Am I actually arguing in defence of speeding drivers? Ah, I’ve fried my brains …)

  5. You should always rest at least one day a week (full rest to give your muscles time to heal) and two days is recommended if you are straining yourself!! I would not feel guilty at all and keep doing what you are doing (listening to your body and being attentive to what it tells you!)

  6. Thanks, I agree. Some yoga classes are super restful though (lying down in deep relaxation) but with so much all at once I couldn’t ignore my body which just didn’t want to be rushing out for more activities after some long tiring days of learning new things.

  7. Ugh I wish I had as much positive attitude as you!!!

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