The day went on and I picked up a little. Here is my updated checklist.
Get Out of Bed: check.
Go Outside: check.
I got dressed in sweats and walked down the street for takeout. I was helped along by the fact that I could pull my winter hat over my dirty hair, just needing to brush my teeth to be presentable. The brisk, winter air during the short walk was refreshing, and a meal helped with energy.
3+ More Activities:
I tried once again to get into Listening to Depression. I’m not having much luck with chapter two. In this chapter the author tries to convince you of the blessings of depression. I know what she is trying to say based on the first chapter, but something about the language in this chapter ticks me off. I got very cozy, at least, reading on the sofa next to the “roaring” electric fire. So cozy that I fell asleep.
Career Stuff: check
As I mentioned earlier, today I declined a potential work contract. It asked for too much commitment for way too little pay or security. My first thoughts upon waking on the sofa were that I had made a spelling mistake in the email declining and ugh, how unprofessional that must make me seem. I was sure they were glad that they wouldn’t have to work with me. The thought kept circling my mind. I looked at the word twice when I wrote it…. Why didn’t I double check the spelling? Why didn’t spellcheck highlight it? Maybe the spellcheck in my email isn’t on? I couldn’t get it out of my head. So I looked up the word in the dictionary. And I hadn’t even spelled it wrong! The joys of an overactive, stressed mind.
I wanted to stick to my challenge so I did the dishes.
This is a new one but I thought I’d add it to the list of optional activities. Because they are so challenging right now. It’s almost the end of the month and my first pay cheque wasn’t quite enough for rent. So I went to the bank to put in more money from my mom. I’m thankful for the support, but feel so guilty. Especially after turning down a potential offer. But it really wasn’t a good offer and the contract might have caused problems down the road if I found a better job in the meantime.
So that’s where I am today. I didn’t do all I wanted to – exercise! – and did stuff I didn’t want to – stopped for ice cream on the way back from the bank and ate it all, ugh! – but at least I stayed true to my challenge. It’s helpful because I’ve kept a commitment to myself and it hopefully means I can get on with tomorrow without dwelling too much on today.
I’m going to watch a movie now. Good night, and thanks for your support. 🙂