This weekend I went to see my family, all of whom live very far away. It was a major family gathering which can stress me out as I never know how they will go. Sometimes everything is fine. Other times my alcoholic father has one or the other of us crying before the end of the night.
I really enjoyed this weekend and had a great visit with everyone. My father was drinking, of course, but there were enough people there that I didn’t need to be around him then and we got along in the mornings.
I’ve noticed that I’ve been feeling very calm and relaxed the past few days. Even when things went wrong I seemed to have enormous stores of patience and I wasn’t fazed. I’m so happy about this. It makes me feel like things may finally be heading back to “normal”.
Now that I’ve returned home, I’m set to start out on my new regime of walking at least four blocks each day. I also start a new job tomorrow, so I hope that goes well. My goal for this job is to be 100% reliable. I will go to work each day no matter what. That sounds ambitious but it is a part-time job so I think I can do it.
I was really upset over being fired this summer when I was sick. Before I went off the rails I used to be someone everyone could count on whether for work or for fun. I’ve been so self-absorbed since becoming depressed that I lost track of how others might see my behaviour. It worries me that I’ve lost so many people’s good opinions. I want to regain that trust. But I guess that happens one step at a time. For now I will focus on a daily walk for myself and 100% work attendance to rebuild my reputation.
Wish me luck! 🙂